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Hardly a Typical Man - a Pregnant Transman

August 19, 2005 – 10:14 am

Wonderful. Brave. Nick Kiddle has been documenting his pregnancy and thoughts about abortion at Alas.

And in any case, I’m hardly a typical man. I’ve considered taking hormones to make me look and sound a little more male, but I never wanted surgery. I was born with a female body, and no matter what surgery I undergo, it’s never going to be capable of all the things a male body can do. I’ve made my peace with that fact, and I can appreciate all the female things it can do as a kind of compensation. If it weren’t for my female parts, I wouldn’t be getting this baby, and I happen to believe that being able to feed said baby using just my own body is a skill worth having.

Read on.

UPDATE: All I will say about Nick Kiddle is I think his choices are awesome. He is doing something that truly frightens many transmen/ftms. He appears to have placed himself right in the center of the so many conundrums of our bodies and lives. Much needed and truly liberating.

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  1. 6 Responses to “Hardly a Typical Man - a Pregnant Transman”

  2. Thank you for the kind words.

    It feels awkward to be held up as an example, mostly because in my offline life I’m still living as female in nearly every way that matters. Anything I’ve learned about my gender seems to be confined to my head, because I’m not nearly as brave as I can come across online.

    By Nick Kiddle on Aug 19, 2005

  3. >>Anything I’ve learned about my gender seems to be confined to my head, because I’m not nearly as brave as I can come across online.>>

    (Shrug) Of course, I will respect and support your need to identify as a wuss. But I would see this as just as brave as transitioning: maintaining an identity without any kind of social support or established social category.

    By piny on Aug 19, 2005

  4. Nick,

    I’m with Piny.

    What exactly is every way that matters?

    If it matters to you then it matters.

    And something I am reminded of in yoga:
    Your mind is in your body.

    So I don’t necessarily believe your gender can ever be “confined” to your head….

    By Jay Sennett on Aug 19, 2005

  5. Livejournal doesn’t do trackbacks, so I’m just dropping a note here to say I’ve posted some more thoughts about my gender identity and why I’m so afraid of being called a transman here.

    By Nick Kiddle on Aug 22, 2005

  6. You are whatever gender you are - male, female, both, in between, or neither. Getting pregnant, having a baby, breast feeding, etc. should have no effect on your true gender identity. What other people may think can not change your gender identity. If you are male, then you are in the unique position of being a male who can also get pregnant, give birth, breastfeed etc. There are many FTM’s who changed their gender AFTER having and raising their children. It did not make them any less male. Even if you choose not to change your body, if you identify as male, that’s who you are.

    By Drew on Sep 8, 2005

  7. Everything Drew said.

    What has been hard for me is the a voice in my head, representing society at large, that tells me it is not _enough_ to identify as male. I must do something more…

    By Jay Sennett on Sep 8, 2005

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