Self-Organizing Man

Perhaps that’s not the best title/attitude to have about this weekend…but it’s what keeps coming to mind.

I’m laying in bed at 1:30 am, thinking of all the different ways I could say what I need to say….how do I say them while keeping people open to me? to the process? to possibilities?

This weekend, I am going with a team of four down to Colorado Springs, CO, home of Dr. James Dobson and Focus on the Family (and some other 9,000 Conservative Christian Organizations). We are going down with our team to present to two churches from my mainline protestant denomination about the “Discernment Process.” What we are trying to do is to get them to commit to a 10 week process of discerning what they believe is the will of God about LBGTs in the church.

This involves many things, including leaving preconceptions at the door. It is a process of Bible Study, Personal Sharing, Prayer and Communion designed to open one and one’s group up to the moving of the Holy Spirit. For most of them, it will be the first time they have heard a LGBT Christian speak. For many, it will be the first time they have met, or conceived of, a LGBT Christian.

My task, beyond my assigned presentation, is to be able to speak honestly to my experience in the discernment process I went through. To do that, I have to be able to speak towards my own more-than-reluctance to deal with those I considered pain-causing bigots. Now, I have moved past that point, but it was a point on the journey if I look at it honestly. So many parts of the journey run through my mind….it would be much easier to deal with them in the 10 week study, where we have a chance to get to know one another. But to present them cold at a one afternoon preview…well, I’m not sure how to do it exactly. After all, I do want them to say “yes” to the 10 week study.

So back I go to bed, trying to find words for my journey that will show it’s depth and breadth without hiding anything or pushing others away. I guess that’s the crux of it; being honest while not pushing them away. I want them to go through the process. As Ella Baker (1903-1934 African American Civil Rights Activist with SNCC) said, “Struggling myself don’t mean a whole lot, I’ve come to realize. Teaching others to stand and fight is the only way our struggle survives.”

If you have a moment on Saturday, think a good thought or say a prayer or light a candle or do whatever it is you do for a roomful of people in Colorado Springs who are looking for authentic ways to connect and learn together. Thanks.

Ona