Self-Organizing Man

I guess we hear this boorish remark more often than I realized.  A cartoon is forming in my head.  Something like "best of both worlds! ?!  My world doesn’t contain turds like you!" 

Or

"You go both ways?  May they both end in a dumpster."

I’d like the cartoon that accompanies this as-yet-unwritten blog post to really obliterate all this stupidity..

Ideas??