Self-Organizing Man

I ran across this book the other day at Bounders.

Anyone read it? Know of other works by Vincent?

I dig the conclusion that men are more complicated that pop culture propagandizes. But her riffing on maleness is more about attitude than physicality? I just don’t know. Perhaps if one were trying it on, as she did. Then I think, no way!, not if you’re living 24/7. But then Billy Tipton pops up there, pesky trumpet player, tooting along in life without hormones…

She claims to have had a nervous breakdown after leaving Ned and the male proscription for no- feelings-at-any-cost behind. Deep in my brain I recall feeing stifled as a man about three years back or so. A metal rod rammed straight up my spine rigidified my notions of what was acceptable masculinity.

It was only when I stopped worrying if people thought I was gay, that I finally relaxed. And this coming from a former very out lesbian. Whole books could be written on former lesbians and bi women transitioning having to confront internalized homophobia.

The biggest surprise about the dark, inner circles of men I feared entering is that they are often banal, boring places. Yes, some guy might make a sexist statement but mostly they are average and ordinary. So is misogyny, and this is what I still find confounding about masculinity and living as a white man.