Self-Organizing Man

Back bends make me realize my edge, the point at which I say "I won’t." 

Not, I can’t.  But, I won’t. I won’t push myself up, vulnerable, belly exposed, heart open for crushing. 

I recently moved into upward facing bow, which looks like a half circle, with my heart facing the sky.  My teacher assisted me, and I still did all the work. 

When I started yoga three years ago, I probably could not have done a back bend. 

My back muscles were simply too weak to do the necessary work to open up my front body.  The back muscles, hamstrings, shoulders, calf muscles push open the front body to relax my chest, stomach and thigh muscles into a place of openness.

Now that my back body is much stronger I can do the work to open my chest, stomach and heart.

I’ve been pondering this fact as I reflect on bending over backwards for people.  With its implications of victimhood and bad boundaries, back bends, especially for other people, get a bad reputation.

But I’ve learned that with a strong back body and deliberate preparations, I can back bend.  It’s all about knowing where to place my hands, feet and head, then pushing, pushing, pushing up through those pockets of safety to freedom.

Now I know I can bend over backwards for people, too.  We all can.  We just need to know our limits and have a very strong foundation supporting us as we open our hearts to others. 

Yes, they might push us over, but in a back bend, with both hands and feet on the ground, we don’t have very far to fall. 

Namaste.