Whoooopeeee

8.05.2006

Spent the weekend with two pre-teens and one whoopee cushion.

Every person we hated got whoopeed, except at a birthday party, where the two pre-teens serenaded each exiting party attendee with the whoopee’s dulcet tones.  "Ohhh!  I love that thing!" said one.

On the haters list:

  • Various school administrators
  • Various teachers - including one Ms.Debuque - "we call here Ms. DePuke!"
  • The Cable Company
  • Gas Prices
  • Talk America
  • Britany Spears, Kevin Federline ("Farterline"), The Olson twins and Paris Hilton
  • George W. Bush ("Hi, I’m George W. Bush.  My brains are filled with lies, air and this!" said to the rejoinder of the whooppee cushion.)  Particularly hated policies by the Whoopee Man included anything related to the environment and no child left behind.

Now, how do I get one of these cushions into my meetings?