What Happens Next?
December 7, 2006 – 10:22 am
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About four years ago the unexpected happened: My transsexuality became no big deal.
I still wonder at this change. When I started hormones I needed to be out, to talk about my transsexuality like a drowning man seizing a life preserver.
No doubt the Change defined everything about me. I believed that it would continue to define everything about me until I died. That story of the Change started to wear thin, most especially for me. I mean, come on, how many times can you talk about “oh, gosh, maybe I was born that way,” and “wow, I just don’t know if I’ll every feel comfortable identifying as a man, before that whole scene gets just too damn boring.
Excitement, awe, high regard were all responses I expected from the world, and I suppose from myself. But ordinariness had somehow missed my radar.
The arc of the transsexual story stops, ends, disappears at the point at which I became comfortable in my own skin. The discourses surrounding transexuality center around changING not changED.
Now that I see myself as changed I’ve had to get on with my life, you know? And getting on with my life means working on the publishing company, my own memoirs and short stories, my family, yoga.
Nothing happens next, expect Life.
3 Responses to “What Happens Next?”
I remember asking you that very question about two years ago: when does transitionING become transitionED? I think the impertinence of my question must have stopped you in your tracks, because I don’t remember what your answer was.
Now I know!
By Jennifer Gee on Dec 7, 2006
The process is always the THING, the journey the drive the need the desire the necessity. The end result - well we just live that - we have arrived, achieved and now we live!
By sokari on Dec 8, 2006
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. Among the usual questions were “have you had any surgeries?” I had to think for a moment and then I told her about my colonectomy and surgery that I had on my arm when I was a teenager. We moved on. A minute or so later, I suddenly remembered that I’d had another surgery!
It seems like I get called on a lot to discuss my transsexuality, but that aside, it’s hardly ever in my thoughts. This is sort of how I hoped it would be.
By Denise on Dec 11, 2006