Self-Organizing Man

Sile Singleton, the editor of King Guise, Homofactus Press’ forthcoming Drag King of Color anthology, has just posted a breathtaking blog entry at HfP on some of the barriers to success she is experiencing. A good reminder that often the most difficult work we will ever do in our lives is the work of getting out of our own way.

Like — we connect and talk constantly about not being seen –about the gaps– am I so overwhelmed by it that when the opportunity arises to have a visible experience – I freeze – ’we’ self detonate? — I am sooo fuckin’ (sorry granny) wideopen and scared — I have been trying to claw my way out –of my doubt,  but I just realized that what I have been experiencing is much like — have you ever found yourself thrashing around in knee/stomach deep water?  For at least 5 seconds of the experience it crossed your mind that you were lost..not sure where the surface was…thinking for sure there was a real possibility of drowning?  Then your heel bumped the bottem and you stood up?  And whether you laughed it off or admitted your fear — it doesn’t change the terror you experienced?  And I think I am stuck there — afraid I might not be so lucky, again.  And for me there is this sticky residue in this space –it stops me short of breath and so doggedly tired —  in my tracks — yah know?

more here