Men Fearing Other Men
January 4, 2008 – 6:00 amI believe that men can and do benefit from the subjection of women. What interests me is how it is that men remain silent in the face of their daughters or sisters abuse. Setting aside the sure percentage of men who think women deserve it, I wonder if the group of men who may want to intervene don’t intervene because they are afraid they will get beat up, too.
The times when I have confronted bullies, I’ve been terrified. Maybe he’ll come after me, too, I think. Male violence works to keep us all in place, perpetrators and victims alike. But letting another man beat up a woman won’t keep us safe. It just delays the more than likely chance that we may be victimized by another man.
But this reality should not keep us from working to end male violence. Why does work around ending domestic violence address helping the victim, with no collective, ongoing, state and federally funded response for abusers? Many men agree that rape and domestic violence are wrong. Sitting around, though, and doing nothing or attributing this behavior to some misguided notions of evolutionary biology sends the strong message to women and these abusive men that we are totally down with what you are doing….And I’m glad it’s not me you’re beating up.
Ending violence against women is an excellent place to begin the work of dismantling violence. But we should also be working to end bullying schools, homophobia and corporal punishment as a way of dealing with bad boys. Our own well-being depends on it.
One Response to “Men Fearing Other Men”
My personal scholarship is currently centering on examining why female characters in children’s literature are so often forced into abjection with regards to their circumstances, their bodies or their identities, so this is a timely reminder that even in academia, one can do important work to dismantle expectations based on prejudice and oppression.
Oh, and a belated Happy New Year to you and Ms. H! Hope to see you both soon.
By Jennifer Gee on Jan 4, 2008