On Gratitude: 5 Lessons From Learning That Less is More
February 1, 2008 – 2:50 pm
These days I’m working on wanting what I have and gratitude for what I do have. This effort has resulted in five new, yet interrelated epiphanies, about money, clutter, and time. These are the three big issues for those of us solidly in the middle-class, which is to say, our materials are need on a regular basis such that we might not be living paycheck to paycheck, have healthcare, and very importantly, have money to pay someone else to fix our broken things.
Ephiphany No 1. By truly wanting less - not the notion of “I should want less because Zen is In!” - I have more money now. That I am 43 and have only now figured this out indicates the depths of my suffering mind. But as we like to say here in the u.s., better late than never. Somehow, this working on gratitude, I’ve managed to hold on to the pennies, nickles and dimes I used to fritter away on so much crap.
Epiphany No. 2. With less crap, the less I have to pay to keep the crap I do have clean. Here is a bonus epiphany. Not only to get more money (see Epiphany No. 1) but I also get more time. There is less to clean, less to organize, less to worry about.
Epiphany No. 3. The more I am grateful for what I have, the more relaxed I am. Less striving after the crap of life. Ms. H. candidly pointed out to me awhile back that it is “the act of buying something that is sexy. We’ve bought art that we still haven’t hung but we were very excited when we bought it.” Very true. The getting of a thing is often much more fun than the having of it. (This can also be true of dating!)
Epiphany No. 4. Gratitude somehow generates more time. I’m not really sure how it works. It’s kind of like four-year-old magic or something. A more adult like explanation can be found, I think, in the realm of paradox. But I do have much more time now to tend to the details like cleaning, organizing, answering non-urgent, non-important emails. The whole experience seems very Hogwarts to me.
Epiphany No. 5. And along these magical lines, these acts of gratitude for my stuff have helped me like people more. Now, I am a curmudgeon from the get-go. If Ms. H. precedes me in death, I will surely be the old man with 63 cats whose house gets egged by kids on the block. I recall reading a Zen teacher from Japan based in the U.S. tell his students that caring for our things teaches us about the fundamental goodness of, and in, life. I didn’t really believe him. But now I sort of understand what he means. But don’t just believe him or me without trying it yourself. See what happens.
What are you all grateful for?
4 Responses to “On Gratitude: 5 Lessons From Learning That Less is More”
jay, i’d like to comment, not so much on my own gratitude, but on the image that comes to mind when i see you as a grouchy aging person housing all the furry neighborhood strays. somehow, i can totally, totally picture it. i’d love to see your cartoon depiction of “old man sennett.”
thanks for this lovely post
By ss on Feb 1, 2008
Wow, I need to memorise that post.
We’re 18 and 22, and have no money for luxuries (in fact, no money to eat any more than is necessary), ’cause it’s all going on the mortgage, bills etc.
But hell, we have a mortgage! We have four rooms of our own. They’re warm. We even have (intermittent) internet…
And I’m becoming very, very grateful.
I stumbled across this blog ’cause Jay is my name. I wasn’t expecting you to be trans too.
Your posts on trans issues are a lot more interesting and challenging than most of the stuff out there.
Thanks.
By Jay on Feb 2, 2008
@ss, you know what? Ms. H. can, too. She said, “Oh, of course, You would be so affectionate and loving to all your cats.” Alas, I’m so transparent!
@Jay, thank you and welcome! In the mix and tumble of consumer culture, when everything is about Buy! Buy! Buy!, something as wonderful and simply as heat is a good reminder of what I have. I, too, have been grateful for heat of late, as we’ve had a few days of subzero, very windy (-15F+) days. Please drop by again.
By Jay on Feb 2, 2008
I read somewhere recently about the huge amount of stuff Americans have in storage - what is it being stored for? I mean if you have an apartment that is too small for your stuff then anything in storage needs to be given away / sold whatever. I think the same probably applies here where there has been this growth of storage businesses.
What am I grateful for? That I have a room of my own for the first time in my entire life and I am not depressed about it or living on my own - well I do have my dog so am not entirely on my own and my bike and my laptop, books, drums, cds, clothes and the list goes on
By sokari on Feb 15, 2008