Posts from the “Web Realignment” Category
Monday, October 17, 2011

Web Realignment: Then and Now

These are screen grabs of my old site, the one I trashed. Compared to the space I am creating now, the older one feels loud to me. The use of the word “transgender” in some of the menu headings was, in part, an effort to gather more web traffic. I am more than a bit embarrassed to admit this. But that’s the truth.

I have happy that I am transsexual. But what can I say about people who sensationalize my existence, if I am more than willing to do it to myself? My life, the lives of others like me, the lives of everyone in the entire world, matter more than any SEO word pattern can illuminate.

Moving to the current, more simple expression of myself through this website, I have found that my cynicism is diminishing. The process of seeking web traffic by placing transgender as every other word in a post made me feel forlorn. How can I expect visitors to this site to see and feel all of me if I am more than willing to only show them ‘transgender,’ whatever that may mean for me?

Alignment resists objectification. Alignment embraces contradiction and complexity. Radical acceptance means I am and am not transgender.
Saturday, October 15, 2011

Web Realignment: (re)Writing My About Page, a Stub, Part 2

color photo of autumn trees

I am currently passionate about releasing the many accumulated computer applications, online digital accounts, clothes, art supplies and other stuff I can’t currently recall, that I have accumulated over these past months and years.

I seem hell bent on going so far inward that my heart will be forced to grow to accommodate me. Stuff seems to be getting in the way of that growth. (Here’s another stub)
Thursday, October 13, 2011

Web Realignment: Feeling Naked or the Beginner’s Mind

All my old posts have been moved from the wordpress archive to the wordpress trashcan. From 1700+ comments, I now have one. From over 800 posts, I now have 26.

I feel today, now, like I did in 2005 when I first started a blog on Moveable Type. Now I am a beginner again. With beginner’s mind, I am open to many more possibilities.

In beginner’s mind we have many possibilities, but in expert mind there is not much possibility.  So in our practice it is important to resume to our original mind, or inmost mind, which we, ourselves — even we, ourselves do not know what it is.  This is the most important thing for us.  The founder of our school emphasized this point.  We have to remain always beginner’s mind. ~  Shunryu Suzuki
Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Web Realignment: (re)Writing My About Page, a Stub

Despite thinking about myself all the time, I have a hard time writing my About page. As I was writing in my journal this came out:

At some level I am free-spirited. I love zipping around in my Miata convertible in the middle of a midwestern winter with the top down the heat on and the radio blasting. I mean seriously, life is short. No point in being in a heated car when a the bracing wind is available. I forget that I am free spirited because I have this job that is very customer service oriented (which I am not, by the way) and I’ve had to bring every focusing skill I can muster to this job. I’ve learned about who I am, what I am made of and what people are really, really looking for in this world. People want someone to listen to them, and touch their heart. Even in my lowly job, I can do that. When someone is frustrated or unhappy, I can blow them off, which I used to but now I know I can acknowledge their frustration and seek to remedy the situation. Most people are like an empty boat. It’s heading right for me but no one is navigating it. By not paying attention, people just get caught up in their own difficulties. I used to feed into those difficulties by acting like a jerk. I mean really. I acted like I had better things to do, that I was just waiting for a really important job to come along. “In this job,” I thought and acted, “I’m not living up to my potential.”